So, you’ve heard about what life will be like at Gonzaga, both inside and outside the classroom and, for the most part, you think you’re ready. Maybe you truly are. For some of you, the summer has been dragging on and you have been counting the days until you move into your new residence hall, meet new friends, try to win a coveted intramural t-shirt and gain independence from your family (FREEDOM)!
Many of you may have family members who have been nagging you in an attempt to help you get ready for your new life at GU. Maybe the daily reminders about going shopping for linens, shower shoes and checking other items off your college check list are starting to get on your last nerves. Well, let those family members nag and let them be a part of this momentous time. For this last week before you arrive on campus, let them hug you tighter and more often, let them help you pick out those towels and linens and let them take you on a trip down memory lane, as often as they need to.
“Why,” you ask? Because this support group has, and will continue to, support you for the next four years and, as much as you are transitioning, so are they. Consider this: they’ve been present and participated in the daily moments of your life for 17 to 18 years and, in less than a month, they become spectators, some from great distances, to this life. Your family is trying to decide how they are going to handle this new life stage, and this is a great time to talk with your them about your excitement, your sadness, your fears and let them know they will be missed. Yes, you will be making decisions now and you need to take responsibility for your college experience and education. But remember, it is important to establish what kind of relationship you’ll have with them while you are away at Gonzaga.
Do: Establish when and how often you’ll communicate with your family. Some students call home often. Others don’t. Understanding student and parental expectations about the kind of contact that will be maintained is important. Have a discussion about what each family member needs, as a minimum, and wants, as a maximum, of contact. Also discuss ideal conditions – times of day, days of the week that respect each person’s sleep habits, study needs, work schedules, etc.
Don’t: Only call/text when something goes wrong. If you only call when things go wrong, families worry and think your college experience isn’t going well, or that you are failing all of your exams. Make sure to include them in the many good moments that you are having at Gonzaga.
Do: Understand you will have homesickness. Missing family, friends, pets and old routines is normal. Ask for support from your family, and let them know you are missing them.
Do: Enjoy your time at Gonzaga, make the most out of this amazing opportunity and, of course, thank your family!
Amy Swank is the Director of Parent & Family Relations.