As a student, Paul Sari (’05) saw Stephanie Neumayer (’03) in the student chapel in College Hall during daily mass several times. Even though he’d prayed about who he wanted to end up marrying someday, he had no idea that the woman he would eventually commit his life to was sitting just across the way.
“Looking back, it was kind of amazing to think of the way things just fell into place,” said Sari, who came to GU from southwest Washington. His sister Andrea (’02) also attended Gonzaga and encouraged him to apply.
Neumayer’s ties to the University can be traced back to the 1940s, when her great uncle, Art, fought on the varsity boxing squad, but it was the size and location of the school that really influenced her decision.
“I grew up in Lewiston, Idaho, and I wanted to stay somewhat close to home,” she said.
In spite of being connected to one another through several sets of mutual friends and crossing paths through their respective involvement with CCASL, Sari and Neumayer can’t say for sure exactly what brought them together.
“I think it was at 10:00 p.m. mass at Saint Al’s,” suggested Neumayer.
“A couple of friends introduced us, I think,” guessed Sari. Regardless of how they met, the two dated for only about four months before parting ways.
“Paul knew he was going to Gonzaga-in-Florence and I was on a waiting list to get into medical school in Nebraska,” recalled Neumayer. “Paul was wise beyond his years and said, ‘let’s be realistic, dating would be impractical.’”
“If we were meant to be together, then in time, we’d be together,” added Sari. The couple broke up in 2003 and spent the next few years considering their futures while Neumayer went to medical school and Sari served in the Peace Corps in West Africa after graduating from Gonzaga. “I wrote her maybe a dozen letters. We did some hard thinking about what we wanted out of life and for some reason, when we ended up back in Portland, I had this feeling there was some unfinished business.”
“We were back in a relationship within four days,” Neumayer said. She had moved to Portland for her medical residency and was excited to be with Sari again, though he wouldn’t be staying long – he left for Notre Dame to pursue his MBA soon after they reunited. This time around, Sari and Neumayer decided to try a long-distance relationship.
By the time Sari moved back to Portland after receiving his MBA, the couple had known each other for nearly seven years, and with the exception of their time together at Gonzaga, had been separated by several states and even an ocean for nearly as long.
“After I came back from Notre Dame, it was about six months later that I proposed. Stephanie was pretty convinced we were never going to get engaged,” said Sari.
Paul & Stephanie were wed on the Gonzaga Campus in the student chapel in College Hall.
“Let’s just say that when he proposed, I didn’t think it was real,” Neumayer admitted.
Both Neumayer and Sari had been so greatly influenced by Father Bruno during their respective Gonzaga-in-Florence experiences, it only made sense to ask him to perform the ceremony when they were wed in the student chapel in College Hall.
“I never would have gone into the Peace Corps without his encouragement,” said Sari. “He had such a profound impact on our outlook and world view.” The couple credits the Gonzaga community and people like Father Bruno for helping to shape who they are today – Neumayer is a pediatrician in Troutdale, Oregon, and Sari manages wind farms in the southern U.S.
“The community support inspires a thoughtful way of living,” Sari said. “Gonzaga has built a community around a meaningful existence. That’s why we support Gonzaga through scholarships and the Fund for Gonzaga. It always comes back to helping other people who wouldn’t otherwise have the experience. We want them to grow the community because at Gonzaga, we learned how to learn and we didn’t stop when we left. Gonzaga inspires a lifelong commitment to education.”
Paul and Stephanie celebrating Gonzaga Day 2015 in Portland, Oregon.
“It’s about how we learned to live,” agreed Neumayer. “At the end of every year, we think, ‘how do we want to spend our money meaningfully, doing things that are productive and generous,’ and it always comes back to Gonzaga. I learned to be open-minded, to approach situations and other people in a thoughtful way. It shaped both Paul and me while we were building our relationship and made us into the people we are today. That’s why we give back. It led us together and we want other people to have that experience, too.”