In this photo, from left to right: Tom and Elaine Bigley, National Parent/Family Council Chairs, Jim O'Brien, Corrina O'Brien, Amy Walker, Coordinator of Parent and Family Programs, and Colleen O'Brien

Photo credit: Virginia Whalen

It is with great pleasure I nominate my parents, Jim and Colleen O’Brien, for Gonzaga’s Parent of the Year award. “Gonzaga Parent of the Year” is the perfect way to acknowledge their commitment, sacrifices, and admiration for Gonzaga University.  I recently had the opportunity to lead the Cardoner retreat at Gonzaga. This retreat focuses on the Jesuits’ “Daily Examen,” which is considered the cornerstone of Ignatian prayer — a way to detect God’s presence by reflecting on our daily experience. Ignatius believed there should be a balanced integration of prayer and life, such that one leads into the other and vice-versa, and that there is a mutual nourishment between the two. Thinking about my parents and the role they have played in my life, I cannot think of better examples of people who live this Ignatian Spirituality: constantly using their talents to better a community, sacrificing because of their commitment to education, showing constant love and support to their children, yet always finding time to strengthen their relationship with God.

Not only have my parents supported me through my college career, but they’ve continued to live the Jesuit mission throughout their lives.  Both parents are continuously involved in their communities. My father is a Food Service Director for Whitworth University. The title of his job does not do justice to the service he has done for Whitworth over the past 25 years. He is an advocate for sustainability: designing new initiatives to not waste water or food, he started a program in which they grow their own crops and resources for the University, as well as supporting local food growers.  He also takes time to educate the student body about the importance of sustainability and the changes they can make to help. Recently, he created a Wellness Program in which students participate on teams to challenge themselves to live healthier lifestyles. This program is not just about exercising and eating, rather it focuses on mind, body and spirit; and taking time during the day for each of these areas. In his free time, my father is a board member for Habitat for Humanity. He believes in the importance of this organization to house low-income families. One thing I love about my father is his spiritual life. Not only does he participate by being a Eucharistic minister, but he makes it a habit to attend daily Mass. I have always admired him for that. He has always told me he does this because it always starts his day off on the right tone. I am always astonished at the amount of time my father gives to his job, the community, yet he takes time each day for himself.

Much like my father, my mother is also an inspiring person. She works in the Administration for Head Start, an agency that provides care for infants, toddler, and disabled children that come from families of poverty. At her job, she works directly with the families and teachers, visiting homes to make sure they are suitable for children and training teachers. Head Start is a special program that gives these families the support and care they need. Outside of her job, my mother also serves as the President of Eastern Washington Association for the Education of Young Children (EWAEYC), an organization that supports the education of young children. My mother is the most giving and compassionate person I have ever met, especially when it comes to family. Until recently, my mother also dedicated most of her evenings to taking care of my uncle. I have two uncles that are diagnosed mentally ill and live in downtown Spokane. My mother was gracious enough to be Rollie, her older brother’s, caretaker: making sure he was fed each day, occasionally bringing him back to her house to shower and wash his clothes, and just letting know he was always loved. My uncle passed away about a month ago due to a stroke, but I know he always appreciated how much my mother cared for him. Growing up, my mother never once was embarrassed or ashamed of her two brothers. She embraced them as they were and always showed them compassion, regardless of what others thought. She has been a living example of Gonzaga’s mission through her relationship with her family and has continued to challenge me to continuously be a better person for others.

After reflecting on my parents’ daily lives, it’s evident that they have been living the mission of Gonzaga their entire life; but, only recently have I realized the beautiful people they are. My parents have shown me so much love and support over the past three years at Gonzaga, too often to count. After transferring to Gonzaga from Seattle University after my freshman year, I was worried that I would be too close to home. I did not know how my parents would react to me being only a 20-minute drive away. My parents were understanding and supportive when I decided to live on campus. They knew I needed my own space, but were ecstatic that I was closer to them. It seems that anytime I am stressed or having a busy week at school, my mother is thinking about me. About once a month, sometimes even more, she cooks dinner and brings it down for my roommates and myself. She usually stays up late baking or preparing the meal, as well as driving to campus after work to drop it off. The food is always nice to have, and one less thing to stress about in the evening, but it is always the optimism that I love when my mom comes down. She always gives me the biggest, best hugs and reassures me. This selfless act of kindness has always shown me the support she has.

During my sophomore year, I decided to join the track and cross country team here at Gonzaga. My parents are not big runners and might not have the same passion and love for it as I do, but throughout the years I have run, they have been at almost every meet I have had — Spokane or Idaho, Cheney or Montana. Last October, I ran the best race of my career in Moscow, Idaho; and it was even more exciting to share that race with my parents. I remember walking through the chute after I finished, getting 2^nd place, and my father walking over to congratulate me. He held up his cell phone, and in my exhausted state, I had no idea why he was showing it to me; but then, he showed me my time: 17:58. I had never broken 18:30 for a 5k before, and to break 18:00 was never on my radar. My parents, not knowing much about cross country, shared in my goals and passions and were just as excited as I was about the race.

During the last three years here at Gonzaga, I have come to an understanding of the many sacrifices my parents have made for my education, the most obvious is the financial support they’ve provided.   I am the youngest of three daughters, and conservative estimates put my family’s investment in our education at about $400,000. Growing up, we never missed a meal, but we have had to forego other items because of this commitment to our education. I remember having a conversation about education with my father when I was younger; he mentioned that before my oldest sister went to college, he made an appointment with a financial planner. The financial planner reviewed my parents’ income and told my father that he only had enough funds to support his children through community college and to forget four-year universities and private colleges. With two sisters in private college, I knew he didn’t heed this advice. I then continued to ask him why he believed it was important to receive a Catholic, Jesuit education. He told me, “You can learn the curriculum at any school, but it is the ideals, morals and beliefs that are important. I want you to be surrounded by people who challenge you to be a better person, believe in the same ideals and walk the same path. I want you to have opportunities to grow and be inspired to make a difference in the world.” Though I attended Catholic grade school, a Jesuit high school, and Gonzaga, it was not until recently I understood exactly what he was talking about. It took 17 years (times 3 children) of this commitment on my parents’ part to get the full benefit of Catholic, Jesuit education.

Gonzaga is a wonderful place and holds a special place in family’s heart for many reasons. My grandfather made a sacrifice to come to Spokane from a small town in Montana to receive the best education from Gonzaga University. After graduating, he resided in Spokane with my grandmother and began to raise a family. He then supported his six children through Catholic, Jesuit schools, including four who graduated from Gonzaga. While my mother was in college at Gonzaga, she was working on campus and met my father. This relationship continued to flourish over their time at Gonzaga and after. The values, morals and beliefs Gonzaga instills created a foundation for my parents, allowing their relationship to be based out of love, compassion and service. Ever since they graduated from Gonzaga, they have lived the mission and tried to instill it in my life and sisters. It is only now, after three years at Gonzaga, that I have come to understand the mission they live.

Ignatian Spirituality allows people to find God in all things: relationships, nature, or a small act of kindness. My parents continue to live this way every day of their lives. Through the support, love, compassion and generosity they have shown to me and the community over the past three years, as well as the many sacrifices they have made to make this education possible, I have come to realize how they serve God in everything they do. Success can be defined as material possessions, money or power, while fulfillment can be defined by joy and happiness. Too often our society focuses on success and forgets about fulfillment. My parents are living examples of always seeking fulfillment, not success. They have taught me many lessons over the past years of my life, but as I embark on my future after Gonzaga, I have come to more and more appreciate everything they have taught me through their own actions.