Hank and Alice Davis – Parent/Family Council 

As parents of a Sophomore Zag (’18), while we have become used to not having our son home any longer and micro-managing all of his activities, it’s always great to have him home. When I look back to the first time he came home last Thanksgiving, I laugh out loud. As we anxiously awaited his arrival at the terminal at the airport for what seemed like an eternity, we finally saw his smiling face, and we got one of the best hugs ever. He was wearing some clothes that didn’t match and weren’t really appropriate for the weather, but we didn’t care—our Buddy was home.

We are somewhat fortunate that our son likes to hang out with us. We know many parents who find that when their kids come home (I know I was the same way) that they might see their child when they wake up and when they leave the house to go visit their friends and are lucky to squeeze more than the Thanksgiving meal out of their beloved and costly children. I am sure it is hard to prepare for the letdown that your child wants to spend time with his or her friends instead of you, but think about yourself and how much time you spent with your parents when you came home for breaks.

When we got home, we asked our son what his grades were (here comes the micro-managing), and when he told us he wasn’t sure, we were kind of surprised. My wife and I wondered if there was a parent portal, and if not, where we could find his grades. Not to be found. He then mentioned a class he was having difficulties in, and my first reaction was to ask about his teacher and whether we should talk to him. Not gonna happen. We had lots of questions about his social life, dorm life, teachers, food, and we didn’t get many answers. Oh well, it was good to just have him home and around again. When we did talk it seemed like he was more thoughtful in his answers, and he seemed to have grown up some. He was actually washing his clothes, and even sheets, much more often than we thought he would, and he had adjusted to living in the shoe box he lived in. I guess he didn’t really need us to micro-manage him anymore which was a good feeling, but also perplexing. I did keep asking micro-managing type questions over the entire break and thankfully he wasn’t overly annoyed by them, but I could sense I needed to stop it with the questions and treat him more like the adult he seemed to be turning into.

The last part of this note was the trip back to the airport. It was hard leaving him at school, and I am sure many of you cried that sad August day. Well, after we dropped him off at the airport, the well of emotion came back all over again. I looked at my wife and asked her if she needed to go shopping for some therapy, and with tears in her eyes, she said yes. I will say, when he came home at Christmas, it was hard again but not quite as hard (we pre-planned a shopping trip), and when he came home at Spring Break, we weren’t overcome with the gut-wrenching emotion any longer.

The moral to the story is it will get easier after this first trip home. Plan something nice after you drop your son or daughter off that will make you happy, and enjoy the time they decide they want to spend with you. A good friend, whose children are 4 or 5 years older, told me a couple of years ago that having your kids go away to college is hard, but it’s nothing like when they move out of your house for good, so enjoy whatever time they want to spend with you!