I’m Homesick

By: Drew Satter, Area Coordinator, Housing and Residence Life

Your student may experience a challenging time at school and, may or may not, be able to identify the cause.  Sometimes the student will realize that they are having a tough time because they are missing home.  Fear not!  This is a common occurrence with college students, and we have some tips to help your student as well as ways where you might be able to lend support.

First, the student should find out what is going on with them (if there are suspicions of homesickness).  Self-awareness and reflection are key in this realm, so the student should tap into their mind or emotions to sense what is happening.  Feel free to ask open ended questions with your student to ascertain this.  Sometimes it takes time and sometimes they won’t be able to identify it themselves.

There are a number of ways to help with homesickness.  The student could call or skype home or with someone from home.  Parents, friends, or loved ones could send a care package.  If the student returns home most weekends, it’s actually quite good for the student to spend more weekends at Gonzaga making friends, getting involved, and having them feel like GU is their home away from home.  Many of the social development happens on weekends doing things with their friends.  I know that when I was homesick, it was good for me to stay at school and to spend some time with those in my building or on campus.  I quickly found my home on campus and continued to be more involved.  We have a plethora of things to do on campus including Spike Nights, residence hall programming, athletic events, club events, plus the organic socializing that happening through spending time with other students academically or socially.  One thing that I really appreciated was that my parents and I talked about how often they would call or I would call.  We settled on once every week or two so that I would check in fairly regularly to see how they were doing and they could hear how college was going for me.  Also, it wasn’t so frequent that I felt overwhelmed when life got hectic.  If it was a busy week, I would just talk to them the week after.  Also, that made me look forward to talking with them as absence makes the heart grow fonder.  I really appreciate how my parents approached that and I’m sure my mom in particular would have liked to talk with me more, but she knew that this was the system that worked best for me.  Additionally, there is staff on campus that are able to help.  Further down the list I’ll talk about it more.

One of the times that I felt the most homesick was when I got sick for the first time.  Living in a residence hall room with someone else while having the flu was not something I was accustomed to.  As my spouse will affirm, I am somewhat of a baby when I get sick, plus it was strange not having a house with cough syrup and other medical supplies I was used to along with a parent to check in on me periodically.  So, as you can imagine, I felt quite sick and seriously homesick in that instance.  It was great hearing from my mom when I called her and I asked all sorts of basic sickness questions that I probably should have known ahead of time.  I say this to say that this can be a point in which parents and other family members can be quite helpful in talking your student into going to the Health and Counseling Center or just comforting them over the phone.

My oldest sister is a saint and she thinks of others quite often.  Unexpectedly, she would send me a care package with a loaf or two of banana bread, a small gift card for some other food, and an encouraging note.  This was something that made me know that she was thinking of me and loved me, so even 12 years (wow, time flies) after I began my first year, I still remember this.  So, feel free to send care packages every once in a while as a treat to your student and if banana bread isn’t your forte, Gonzaga offers care packages that you can purchase online.  If money is an issue, a hand written card can be sent for a fraction of the price and what student doesn’t love to get mail, especially when it’s encouraging and not a bill.

In the end, homesickness can be overcome with your student finding their place at GU, having a system of talking with your student periodically, and random acts of kindness.  This is a natural thing for many students, but if they don’t know what’s going on, they can talk with their resident assistant who should be able to point them in the right direction.  We have staff in the hall, the Center for Cura Personalis, and Health and Counseling Center on campus in order to assist your student with what is going on if things become more serious.  What you can do is support your student from afar by offering encouragement, pointing them to resources, being someone to talk to, and if the student does need to come home, hopefully they are able to do so and you are able to welcome them home.  Parents can play a huge role in the transition for students.

 

Drew Satter, M. Ed.

Area Coordinator

Housing and Residence Life

Gonzaga University