From the Center for Cura Personalis

As this semester comes quickly to its end, for many students, returning home is the light at the end of the tunnel full of projects, papers and finals. At the same time, though, returning home can be a challenge, for both you and your student. Below we offer some insights into what both you and your student might experience, and some tips for a successful holiday season and break.

• Exhaustion- students often, as the saying goes, burn the candle at both ends, especially toward the end of the semester. They need to do all of the academic work that comes with the completion of a semester, but are also trying to spend time with friends they may not see over this long break. This, in addition to the busyness of the entire semester, usually leads to an exhausted human being coming home. Your student will likely want to sleep and rest a lot. This is normal. That being said, if after some time, your student still seems to be sleeping all of the time, it may be a good opportunity for a check in conversation about how your student is doing emotionally and what things he or she is doing to help their well-being.

• Routines- what may have been your family’s routines in late summer may not be so now. This is a good time to talk about any expectations on both sides; your student just spent a lot of time going to eat when hungry, sleeping when tired, and having a significant amount of freedom. If you have expectations about contributions around the house, family dinners, curfews, or other family norms, now would be a great time for you and your student to talk about what seems reasonable for all of you. A simple conversation now can avoid a lot of struggles later.
• Successes and struggles- some students will have breezed through this semester, academically and socially. Others have found that college, their major, or living in community with others is more difficult than they anticipated. Set aside time to have a good heart to heart with your student.  Ask open ended questions about what your student’s experience has been like. Some ideas include, “What was your favorite part of this semester?”, “How do you feel your time at GU has changed you so far?” and “What was your biggest struggle this semester and how have you navigated it?” All of these provide an opportunity for your student to tell you more.
• Support- Through all of these successes and struggles, ask your student how you can best support them, and then, the challenging part, be quiet and listen to what they say. If how they want you to help doesn’t seem realistic, have a conversation about what would be reasonable and helpful for both of you, and then commit to that. Some students will share deep struggles, academically, with emotional or mental health, socially or other concerns. Honor the privacy of those conversations and the trust your student had in you to share them with you. Bringing up a struggling academic performance, a nasty break up or anxiety attacks at holiday gatherings feels humiliating. Demonstrate your support of your student by acting in those ways that you both agreed were most supportive and helpful.

• Concerning behaviors- if your student is demonstrating concerning behaviors, such as substance use, emotional or mental distress or others, talk with your student first. If, at any point, the question of whether or not to return to GU comes into your mind, or out of your or your student’s mouth, it is a great time to dive into that question more. If your student is really, truly struggling and upset about coming back, don’t just send them back to Spokane. Rather, give us a call well before it is time to return, and talk more about your or your student’s concerns. We may be able to get your student connected to resources while still at home that can help their return to campus go much smoother. Don’t just ignore the concerns—rarely do they simply disappear upon return to campus. You can reach the Center for Cura Personalis at 509-313-2227.

We hope this time away will be restoring and fulfilling for both you and your student. From all of us on campus, to you around the city, state, country and world, happy holidays!