Family of the Year – Lori Witcosky and Charlie Vance
“We’re going to visit Gonzaga.” These were the last words I wanted to hear from my mother during the fall of my junior year of high school. “It’s too close to home.” “It’s Catholic.” “It’s too small.” These were just a few of the rebuttals I had to my mom’s decision to bring me to Spokane, and quite frankly, they were the nicer ones too. That October, I sat in the backseat of my stepdad’s SUV, sulking and listening to my iPod at a dangerously high volume through my headphones. I sat silently for about three hours until we stopped at a gas station in Arlington, Oregon when I huffed an exasperated and wildly cliché, “are we there yet?” Of course, we weren’t; we were only about halfway to Spokane. At this point in the drive I began to realize that Spokane wasn’t as close to Portland as I thought, but I didn’t let my hard exterior soften yet. For the rest of the drive and through the next morning before we arrived on campus, I maintained my irritated and abrasive attitude. It got so bad that my stepdad insisted he never wanted to visit a college with me after this trip. Yikes. And then, I attended a Preview Day. Fast-forward through my tour, student panel, (delicious) lunch, and academic session to when I leave Rosauer to meet my parents outside Cataldo. I attempted to maintain my mindset that I surely wasn’t going to like Gonzaga, but it was starting to crack at this point. I told my mom that maybe it wasn’t so bad, and that I may have liked it a little. If I could find my browser history from the following week, you would see that I was on Gonzaga’s website every single day. Somehow, my mom got it right.
The next September, the beginning of senior year, I returned to Gonzaga for an overnight visit, campus tour, and admission interview. This time, my dad and I drove up so he could see my dream school in person. We arrived on a rainy Sunday night only to find that my overnight hosts were nowhere to be found. After several phone calls and getting in touch with the Admission Office, two overnight hosts saved the day and welcomed me into their suite for the night. That night only solidified my love for Gonzaga and I knew I truly wanted to be a Zag. The next morning, I met up with my dad for our tour, and I was somewhat dreading it. I knew how many questions my dad would ask and all I wanted to do what show him the place I wanted to call home less than 12 months later. The tour began, and for the next 90 minutes my dad was in awe of Gonzaga and was beyond impressed with our tour guide. Throughout the tour, she saw several people she knew and greeted them with a smile and a wave which was often followed by a boisterous “go Zags!” My dad looked over at me every time, becoming more and more excited by this place, as was I! My visit ended, and my dad took me over to the Zag Shop to pick something out with the gift card the Visit Office had so graciously given me for the mix-up with my overnight. My dad indulged me and allowed me to painstakingly analyze every sweatshirt and long-sleeved shirt that I liked; the first piece of Gonzaga gear I owned had to be perfect. I was quiet on our way back to Portland; I texted my friends and told them about my visit while also reflecting on the previous 12 hours. Eventually, we both talked excitedly about everything I did on my overnight visit and how great our tour was. Was had both simultaneously fallen in love with Gonzaga, and it was a love that would never diminish.
Four years later, and this shared love for Gonzaga has never wavered in my family. Not only do my parents love Gonzaga, but they support me and all of my endeavors here. Although my parents have been divorced since I was young, they have jointly contributed individually and together to all that I have done at Gonzaga. They both came for Orientation Weekend and we did everything together. We all walked around campus, they strategized which sessions to go to so they didn’t miss anything, and they both excitedly moved me into my dorm room. That weekend, they both wrote me “I Love my Zag” post cards that are still on my wall today. My dad gave me detailed notes, almost like a guide to freshman year, based on what he had learned throughout the weekend, all of which still ring true. He also wrote me a second one that merely said “Fantastic! You are going to love this!” and he sure was right. My mom’s note expressed how excited she was for all the things I had already done, people I’d met, and how happy she was to see me finding my place here. She expressed how much she already missed me, but that she knew I was in the right place. I still read these notes on a daily basis and they remind me that my parents have supported me from even before I fell in love with Gonzaga (thanks mom) up until now while planning a visit for my last choir concert in April. Every year they inspire me, amaze me, and surprise me with everything they do for me.
My mom and dad have both come to every Fall Family Weekend during my time at Gonzaga, and they both make trips throughout the school year for my choir concerts. My mom has had the opportunity to come up for several Candlelight Christmas Concerts as well as our Black History Celebration and Masterworks Concerts over the past few years. However, my dad has typically only seen me sing in the Fall Family Weekend Concerts. Last year, I told my dad all about our Masterworks Concert and shared links to the pieces we were singing. I was particularly excited about these works and I knew he would also love them, being that he and I are the musical ones. A few days before the concert last spring I got a text message from him that read “I have a ticket to Luminosity!! I could not resist after you told me a bit about the music.” I read that message and have never felt so overwhelmed at one moment. I was grinning from ear to ear while crying and laughing at the same time. In all the times my dad had seen me sing since I started choir in the first grade, I had never been more excited to see him in the audience. In this moment I realized how boundless his love for me and what I do at Gonzaga truly is. Concert day came, and the excitement hadn’t faded at all, it had only increased as I was so excited to share this music and this experience with him and my mom. This past weekend, I purchased tickets for each of them to come to my final performance with Concert Choir next month and I am just as excited to see them in the audience.
Anyone I know will be able to tell you that my mom and I are best friends. While this might be surprising, and slightly concerning to some, it is exactly us and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. As an only child, my mom and I have always been close, and incredibly similar. This has created some challenges for us, but over the last three years, she has been my number one fan and the first person I call when anything happens, good or bad. Put us in a room together and we will laugh harder than anyone else, and our ridiculousness is impressive. To this end, I even wanted her to come up and visit me for my 21st birthday last semester. Less than a week before Thanksgiving, my mom flew to Spokane for a quick 24-hour visit. We went to the Portland State football game at Eastern Washington to see the closest person I have to a brother play in his final college football game. This was the perfect birthday weekend seeing close friends as well as spending it with my mom. Plenty of my friends were shocked that I would want my mother here for my 21st, but what they don’t understand is that she is the first person I want to celebrate anything and everything with. Through everything we have been through, I will never pass up the opportunity to laugh and love with her.
I hope that these stories and anecdotes have given you a glimpse into my family and the fact that my parents truly are the reason that I love Gonzaga the way that I do and that they are the reason I have become who I am at Gonzaga today. Without their faith in me and their support I would have never pushed myself in the ways I have, and their support has driven me to aspire to anything. Although my family may not be the most traditional nominee, my mom and dad are the greatest family I could ask for and are truly so deserving of this award. With graduation in the near future, I will surely miss Gonzaga, but I also know that my parents will miss Kraziness in the Kennel, my choir concerts, and the daily phone calls as I walk across campus. Gonzaga has become home to me, but it has also become an extension of home to my parents, and my whole family. Even my grandmother in North Carolina, who went to Duke, stayed up to watch every minute of our WCC championship game against BYU this season. If that’s not Zag love, I don’t know what is.